I don't know about you, but this sounds way too simple to me and logically it really doesn't seem like it will be effective. How can being thankful help me reduce my fears? My thought is, "well just because you are grateful and able to be joyful doesn’t mean you can forget about dangers and bills and looming deadlines." I personally feel like I do practice Gratitude and Joy but I still am afraid of the dark and not having enough or being enough.
I guess if I am honest with myself, I have not practiced enough. My natural tendency is to go to scarcity. I had two sets of grandparents who lived through the depression and drilled scarcity into me. We cleaned our plates, ate leftovers, reused Ziploc bags (who else had grandmothers who rinsed and hung Ziplocs on the faucet spout to dry?) My grandfather "D" refused to buy new clothes after age 80 because he "didn't have time to wear them out" (he lived to age 103.)
Maybe my grandfather's attitude was gratitude. He was thankful for what he had and didn't need more. He had accepted that his end was near and was happy to leave things for the next generation. He was more joyful at the end of his life than in the middle. He loved to see his grandchildren and great grandchildren, had great passion for his cat and was thankful for anyone who stopped by to say hello. Maybe he had figured it out with age, but can we cultivate it and learn to enjoy life earlier?
The resistance to cultivating Gratitude and Joy can be strong. It is almost a physical sensation for me. I feel it in my upper arms - a resistance to letting go and feeling safe. My mind says I need to worry and make sure there is enough and that it is stupid not to. It is hard to remember that the opposite of scarcity is not abundance...it is enough. Maybe I don't trust myself to know when it is enough.
I recently had the opportunity to experience a water massage by a skilled clinician, Cy Rinkel, with an incredible sense of peace and kindness. Cy came highly recommended by a good friend and she looked like my Aunt Jo, who was like a second mom to me. This made it easier for me to fully trust and put my body and mind in her hands. Water massage is a unique experience of floating, releasing, meditating and nurturing and if you can trust it is a great healing experience. I used Brené's concept of permission slips to give myself permission to fully put myself and my safety in Cy's hands. It was not easy.
This experience highlighted for me the need to let go of my fear of the dark and my scarcity fears. By choosing to let go and cultivate the joy in the moment of being nurtured in a womblike experience I was able to remember what if felt like to feel safe and protected. A feeling I had not had in a while (probably since birth). With a taste of this I was inspired to seek more gratitude and joy and am learning to keep my eyes open for moments of joy and practice gratitude daily and to turn away from worry and doubt.
For me, scarcity and fear of the dark still creep in on a regular basis. However! I have noticed that I spend much less time tending to them now that I am aware of the power of gratitude and joy. I can choose to say "Hello worry, thanks for stopping by, I prefer to have tea with gratitude today." And I am finding that worry stops by much less often and doesn't stay as long.
To start your own practice take a moment each day when you wake up to push away to do lists and make a gratitude list. The next time you are smiling big or laughing hard, pause and note to yourself "This is a joyful moment." Seek out things that bring you joy - great music, funny people, comforting people, moments in nature. Don't expect overnight results but instead take notice again in 6 months and see if you feel different. And through it all...remember to breath.