I took a breath. Not any breath It was a huge breath…and then I forgot about it. Today I remembered. I recalled the depth and beauty of it. I remember the feeling of peace that came after, as if all was right with the world. It came back to me in a rush, the safety of it, the awe of how much space I could find in my body and the total relaxation that I felt letting it out. Of course all is not right with the world, but for that tiny moment it was right in my world. Once I remembered it, I tried to find it again, but can’t quite get there yet. For a moment this caused struggle, why can't I replicate it? Will I ever be able to relax like that again? Was it a dream? Then I decide to just enjoy the memory and rely on faith that it will come again, and I will be ready.
Breathing is so fundamental we often forget to pay attention to it. When we neglect it, it tends to become shallow and this affects our entire body. I know I spend much of my time breathing short breaths in my chest only and this keeps me closed off and stressed out. Sometimes I practice meditation or yoga or even going for a run helps remind me of the importance of breath. Other times I spiral down until my body reminds me on its own through aches and pains and low energy levels. My yoga teacher this evening reminded me that our breathing helps balance us, bringing or sun and moon parts together. Mostly it happens naturally, but if we don't pay attention to it or take it for granted it can get us out of whack.
New Years resolutions have never been my thing. (I am smart enough to not set myself up for failure, after all!) But over the last few months I have been able to shift away from a protective stance and look forward again and I think that one deep breath was the turning point. So this year I am going to set an intention of returning to my breath and practicing mindfulness on a daily basis. I also am going to MAKE time to return to my writing, so get ready for some good stuff!
Thanks for all who have shared my stories and I hope you will continue to do so. I more importantly hope that sharing my ups and downs will help others ride the waves of life with grace and compassion.
Namaste Y’all!