So many of us fumble through our relationships and never stop to think about what a healthy relationship looks like. It is important to remind ourselves now and then. The following can be adapted to all different types of relationships but is mostly aimed at the significant other partnership.
What does a Healthy Relationship look like?
(Adapted from the work of Patricia Evans)
A healthy relationship is made up of the following components:
Partnership and Faith
He has my back when times are hard, and she always trusts and accepts that we’re both striving to build a better life. We know we’re in this together, and we’re proud of each other when accomplishing individual dreams.
Intimacy and Sharing Joy
I have a soft place to fall in my relationship, created by empathetic listening, reveling in the successes of each other, and trusting in the goodwill towards each other. Our closeness grows more rewarding as we nurture each other through hard times.
Validation
She is my brace in life, and I am his. His expression of feelings is a compelling reason to listen and I earnestly try to understand, and I trust she treats my feelings with the same respect.
Mutual Cooperation
He understands we both get “what we want” if we respect each others boundaries, needs and feelings; this respect is paramount to whose “want” is mutually decided upon.
Equality and Respect
He consults me and listens to me to advance the goals of the partnership, respecting and valuing my contributions as vital.
Trust and Goodwill
When I have been hurt by him, I trust that I can say “I was hurt by that”, and he will respond with empathy, seek to understand, and express regret. I trust that she does not mean to hurt me, and cares deeply about repairing the hurt. I know he has goodwill towards me.
Instead of jumping straight to what your partner does wrong, spend some time evaluating your own actions and think about rather or not you fulfill these traits in your relationship and identify what is going well and what needs work.
Remember, we can only control our own actions and often that is enough to make meaningful change in a relationship.
And......don't forget to breath.